I have had at least 7 of my close friends announce their pregnant within the past month and i want a child so bad, so deep down it hurts me because i haven't been lucky, ever... but then i feel selfish and like a bad friend because i should be happy for them.. Also because I'm throwing 2 of my friends their baby showers, which I'm excited about. I just get mixed feelings. Especially when I'm by myself.. :( what has helped yall with these feelings or anything to do to cope with it?.. am i wrong… read more
I have had this problem before and it comes up once in a while when you find out another person in your life is having a baby. The worst ones for me are the few friends that never wanted kids and it "just happened " for them. i have a major problem with moms who tell you "I know how you feel" reality is they are trying t o help, but if you have someone that will call you mommy you have no idea what this is like. Your not alone at all, it is a struggle to be happy for those that have or are going to have the one thing you want most and can't seem to get to.
I don't think that you're wrong. I have felt this way. I can remember a time when I wanted a baby so bad and my husband and I were trying, before we figured out we couldn't. I had 3 people around me that got pregnant around the same time and I would go home at night and cry to my husband because nothing was happening with us. I put my smiles on and gave the hugs, I was truly happy for them but on the inside my heart was breaking. We even went through a "false pregnancy" and that about broke me. Many years we tried, even after some of the fertility drugs didn't help and after being told we more than likely wouldn't get pregnant. The only thing that I can really tell you is to write in a journal and lot's of prayers. I felt like there were times I had no one to talk to so I wrote it down. Mad, happy, pissed, scared, and so on. I wrote exactly what I was feeling down. I prayed a lot because there were times when I felt like I couldn't breathe, it hurt too much. I am with you so don't lose who you are and don't let this beat you. *hugs*
Oh sweetheart My heart aches with yours I can totally relate...it is one of the most heartbreaking things about our condition...I have been unlucky too...be kind to yourself and use self talk to yourself like you would to someone else going through this...it's sad and cruel that a beautiful sensitive responsible and magical individual like yourself that has an abundance of love to give hasn't been able to create life...I had friends who were also struggling with infertility who were part of my supporT neTwork who had children (multiples) I watched their children grow and sadly even the people who have been there themselves will not always be understanding and kind to your feelings after their dreams come true...its just how life works. I go through phases... most of the tIme I am my happy self but sometimes I feel it's all getting too sad so I save a Sunday afternoon to have a cry I get it all out and then I am my happy self again and I can carry on...I don't put myself in situations where it's too painful(I don't attend baby showers).and the people who know me well know why...it does make some friendships hard but you absolutely need to learn that it is ok to be kind to yourself just as you would want to be kind to others.
The feeling is horrible... because you feel guilty that you hate them getting the one thing you want most. Around the time that I was diagnosed with PCOS, or right about to be, both my sister and best friend became pregnant. As much as I wanted to be full heartedly happy for them, part of me just wanted to shut them out because I was still coming to terms with the idea that I could no longer ovulate without the aid of medicine qnd everything that came with that. And I did shut them out, to some extent. Although I never voiced my feelings or made them feel like it was a problem, I did feel like it did keep myself out of their lives during their pregnancies. The feelings will subside eventually or at least you'll stop seeing it as them being able to be pregnant vs you not being able to be and feel like the tension within you is less present.
I am going through the same thing right now. I deleted my facebook app so that I wouldn't see all the pregnancy announcements as often. I have 4 women pregnant in my immediate family and i see them all the time. I try to put my feelings aside but it is so hard especially since I have not had a child and all of them are on their 3rd or 4th. I don't think you are wrong for hurting, maybe try talking to one of them about it. At least so your feelings are expressed and acknowledged. Might help a little. It did for me. The day I told my sister about my Pcos she announced he pregnancy. It kind of sucked but we talked it out. Hope this helped.